How To Be a Cannibal: In Five Articles.

How this will be set up:

I’ll do an five articles over the span of a few days, each covering a few steps in the process of being a Cannibal.  By the end of the five articles, you will know just about everything you need to know to be a cannibal.  🙂


Step One:

Getting into the Mindset!

As a cannibal, you will be quite literally slaughtering people.  On top of that, you’ll be eating their bodies.  If you happen to have religious beliefs, that could hinder you greatly.  Now, while most cannibals are Athiest, agnostics, or undecided, I have known a few that adopt a religion…

Know your history.  The history of cannibalism spans centuries, and you should have some sort of knowledge of it.  I personally have learned quite a lot and I am working on learning more!  You can begin learning here.  I suggest you begin learning soon.  🙂

Step Two:

Finding your own rhythm.

Every cannibal has their own unique and very odd style of abducting, killing, dismembering, cooking, and eating.  Once you have learned your history, you can see how cannibals have done it before.  If you see a style you like, you might want to give it a try.  I would suggest you experiment with your first few kills, and find a method that suites you, and makes you feel good.  If you decided to do what another person did, or is doing, you should probably add a bit of your own style in there.  Like I said, just do what feels right.

Step Three:

Setting up your lair.

Every cannibal should have a lovely looking lair! I’ve outlined everything you need in this article.

Righto.  I’m going to go eat ramen and some left over arm meat.  Delicious!

-Chompy.

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